My Thoughts on August

August could very well be one of my least favorite months. 

... this coming from a girl who lives for long summer days at the beach, smoothies, and going from pajamas right to a bathing suit.

I try my best to enjoy the month. It's supposed to be about soaking in the last bits of long days, sunshine, and warmth. It's supposed to be about enjoying the free time before the hustle of the fall. Yet, these past two years they've been so stressful and tiring. It's the last few weeks to train and get ready for field hockey tryouts and the season, which has seemed to bring the anxiety that always makes me feel not quite prepared enough.

Last year I went crazy running and practicing because I knew how badly I wanted to make the varsity team as an incoming freshman. I don't regret a single second of training, but I put way too much stress on myself and didn't believe nearly enough in my abilities. I always thought that there was no chance I was ever good enough unless I stayed up (too) late practicing or woke up (too) early to run. I didn't give myself the rest I needed - because I was too stressed to sleep or stay still - and ended up with a pulled hamstring (I stunk at stretching) and a tired mind and body.

As I said before, I don't regret any bit of training I've ever done. I think that training hard and being dedicated to training consistently gets you where you want to be. I think that you only get what you want by working your butt off for whatever that is. This summer, just like last, I've devoted myself to working towards getting better... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

But when August rolls around, that's when I start to question my abilities, my training, and the work I've put in. Is it enough? Will I get a spot on the team? Will I play in every game? What if I don't do well at tryouts?

August has a miraculous way of making me question every single thing I've done all summer...

But this August, I am choosing to try my best to take it day by day and trust the process. I am choosing to use my energy on my family, my friends, and my training instead of worry.

I have filled my first two weeks of August with reading, beach trips, enjoying the present, working hard, eating yummy food, and spending quality time with people I love. The next two weeks will (hopefully) be spent the exact same.

P.S. Headspace (the app), breathing deeply + slowly, reading, and writing posts like these have really helped me to get rid of my nerves about school starting. Pinterest always has good relaxation tips, too!

I wish you a restful and happy rest of your August!

stay on the sunny side,

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